Waiting For The End To Change
by AuroraBraelinVonHaus
Summary: Alternate Ending for 5x05 (Probable Cause). Since there is not enough Castle whump out there. 3
1. Chapter 1

**((This is an alternate ending for 5x05.))**

Gunshots rang through the air as Beckett walked towards the black SUV, her finger steadily pulling the trigger with each step it took her to close the distance between her cruiser and Tyson. As she moved, she kept thinking to herself, _'Finally, you son of a bitch.'_ His body was slack in the driver's seat, and she was sure she had hit him, that it was finally over and justice had been served. Relieved, she began to lower her gun, and as she was about to take a deep breath, a momentary sigh of _'Thank God'_, the car door swung open, knocking her backwards as though she were stuck inside some pinball machine. As she landed on the wet cement of the bridge, she grunted and the last of her air was expelled from her lungs.

Castle watched from the passenger seat of the unmarked police car as Beckett went down and Tyson got out of his SUV with his gun drawn. He thought it was going to end right there. All it would take was a single bullet and his life would come crashing down around him. His heart thumped in his chest and his head throbbed. He frantically looked around the interior cruiser and hoped there was something there that could help him – help Beckett – get out of this alive. "Castle! I got your girl!" he heard.

He opened the glove box, not at all surprised to find there was no gun stashed away in there. He could hear Kate moaning, and he moved faster, only to be held back by the seatbelt. "Ugh," he growled to himself and wrestled with the buckle, finding it wouldn't come undone. His hands shook as fear took hold of him.

"Are you watching? I want you to see this!"

He angled his head to try and get a better view of where Tyson was standing, his throat seizing as he saw Kate, completely at the serial killer's mercy. "You think that I'd let you live, after everything you've done?" He muttered as he shuffled his hostage towards the passenger side of the wrecked car.

As Castle searched, he realized that this was real, and it was happening. His worst dreams were coming true.

Keeping his head low, he managed to get his seatbelt off and moved his hands under the seats, blindly searching for something – anything.

"Castle, come on! I want you to watch!"

His voice is getting closer, and Castle crawled out the driver's side door. The second he was out, he thanked his lucky stars for Tyson's carelessness as his eyes landed on Beckett's discarded piece. "I want you to watch as I take her life!"

He could feel the desperation welling within him, the willingness to do whatever it took to get Kate out of Tyson's arms and back into the safety of his own. Many nights he had woken up to such nightmares where he failed, and he refused to believe that this was going to end the same way. His hand wrapped around the hilt of Beckett's gun. It was heavy, yet comfortable in his grasp. Everything was silent for a moment, and Castle chances a glance through the rear window and he knews Tyson had seen he was gone.

Castle gets to his feet and lifts the gun over the roof of the car. "Over here," he called. Tyson and Beckett turn to face him, and Castle took careful aim and fired. Beckett dropped to the ground with a grunt, and for a split second, Castle thought he hit her. He had a certain level of confidence in his shooting skills, and he was positive that she was fine.

More gunshots rang through the air as Tyson stumbled backwards. The writer continued to fire the rest of the clip at the man who was responsible for so much pain. He felt a sinking feeling settle in the pit of his stomach when Tyson tumbled over the edge of the bridge.

Beckett stood up, her eyes fixated on the spot where her captor disappeared, and with caution, she approached the edge to look down upon the frigid waters below. She breathed a sigh of relief, certain that he couldn't have survived. Castle had hit him. Castle?

She turned back to the cruiser. He was still standing there, gun drawn over the roof of the car. She could see the slightly jerky movements of the weapon that Castle was shaking, and he had every right to be. Taking a life wasn't supposed to be easy, and it wasn't supposed to be something someone could get over.

The detective moved around the car and came up beside her partner. Sweat glistened on his face, his breaths were ragged. Her gun continued to shake in his hands and she reached for it. "Castle," she said softly, encouraging him to let it go. His grip was tight. "Hey," she breathed. "Rick. It's okay. Let it go."

She managed to pry her service weapon from his grip and placed it back in her holster. She looked at him, concern growing on her face. She gently touched his arm and gave it an affectionate squeeze. "Rick?" Still, he hadn't turned his head to face her. All she was rewarded with was a breathy groan from the back of his throat as he struggled to take a breath. "Hey!" she said, and physically urged him to face her. If she could just capture his eyes, she might have a better chance of reaching him.

When she was finally face to face with him, her smile was short lived as he began to fall. "Castle!" she cried out, her arms wrapping around him in an attempt to keep him upright. He was too heavy for her, and the best she could do was keep him from hitting his head on the pavement. "Castle? Castle!" his surname escaped her lips by second nature. Something was very wrong.

In the dark, and with his dark clothes, it was difficult to spot until her hand came away wet and red. "No," she breathed, tearing open his shirt. "No." Kate said again, feeling defeat rising in her chest at the sight of the blood seeping out from him. "God, RICK!" She pressed her hand over the gunshot wound just under the right side of his ribcage and looked at his face, his head deliriously rolling from side to side.

"K… Ka… Ka'e…" he tried to speak her name. For a moment, their eyes connected, then his closed and she suddenly felt alone.

"Castle!" Beckett's fingers deftly felt for a pulse. Her heart felt like it stopped beating, too, when she couldn't find a pulse. She cursed loudly and repositioned herself next to him. Headlights came down the road when she began compressions. "I will kill you if you die on me," she promised – but she would have plenty of time to think about what she just said, later.

"CASTLE!"


	2. Chapter 2

The room was incredibly bright when Richard opened his eyes to take in his surroundings. He moved his hand, to find an IV restricting his movements. There was a chair beside his bed, but it was empty. He was alone, with no pleasant smiles to greet him as he woke up and returned to the world of the living. There were no happy tears to be shed over him. He would settle for his angry mother, if it meant he didn't have to be alone. He didn't know what day it was, or what time it was, and he couldn't reach the controller for the television that hung in the corner of the room – not that he wanted to watch television. He would just like to have the option.

He winced against the lights above his bed. They irritated him so much that he was content to keep his eyes closed – just for a while. He could hear the bustling of people just outside the door to his private hospital room. He tried to ignore it. He was thirsty and the back of his throat itched. He tried to ignore it. When the door to his room opened, he tried to ignore it, too.

There was movement next to him and he listened intently. The legs of the chair shifted on the floor as someone sat down. They set something down on the table next to the bed, and he was all too familiar with the sound. It was a coffee cup – half empty. Already the smell of it was wafting up his nostrils. He could taste it, and now he craved it. There was more rustling and the television flicked on.

_What the hell is this?_ Richard thought to himself. _I don't even get a hand held?_ As he lay there, he almost laughed at how pathetic his own thoughts sounded.

Slowly, he opened an eye, but he couldn't quite make out who was sitting beside him through his peripherals. Maybe it was Ryan or Espo. That might explain why his hand wasn't being properly held, as her proper hospital decorum. He decided to chance it, and turned his head just slightly. Just enough to get a look. And there she was, sitting there with a leg tucked under her and her long layered brown hair dangling down on both sides of her face. She was entranced in the television, watching an episode of some soap opera he couldn't quite make out. Who the hell was he kidding – it was Young and the Restless. When a man worked from home, certain addictions happened. He just never imagined that _she_ would find herself so engrossed in the show, though.

He didn't clear his throat, or say anything to draw her attention to him. As he looked at her, he remembered everything. _I want you to watch as I take her life._ Kate. Despite the fact that he was the one in the hospital, she had no idea how close to death she had gotten. She stepped right up to the door of the underworld and knocked. Fortunately, no one answered. One day, that door was going to open for her, and Death was going to welcome her with open arms like a long lost friend, and he knew it was going to be his fault, as it was his fault with Tyson on the bridge.

He debated feigning sleep again, but found he had his reasons not to.

When a commercial broke up the show, Kate turned her head towards her partner to find his eyes staring right back at her. "Oh my God," she exclaimed, untucking her leg from under her. The television controller fell to the hard floor and the batteries popped out and rolled away. She didn't care as she pulled her chair closer to him and took his hand in hers. For a writer, he had soft skin – even his hands – and she loved that about him. "How long have you been awake?" she asked.

"Since before you came back… _with coffee,_" he informed her and tilted his head to look at the white cup. It was drawing him in. He needed coffee, and he started to reach for it like a man possessed.

"No," she scolded him, and resisted the urge to slap his hand as though he was a misbehaving child. "You can't have that." He grumbled, but she was satisfied when he put his arm back down at his side. "How can, however, have this." She lifted a pitcher of water and poured some into a small cup. Richard wrinkled his nose. "Alright, come on. Take a sip."

She hovered over him as she tipped the cup towards his mouth. He accepted the room temperature liquid gratefully, as it relieved the itch at the back of his throat. He could smell her. Despite the flowers in the room, he could smell Kate, he could feel her warmth. She radiated compassion, just now, the same way it radiated off of her when she delivered justice for a victim. She had a light, and he refused to see it extinguished. "How you feeling?" Kate asked as she set the cup back down on the table. Her hands immediately found his again. Her touch was electrifying, sending sharp tingles up and down his spine.

"Good," he replied simply.

"Do you remember what happened?"

Why did this seem so familiar to him? Oh, right, because once upon a time, she had been shot, and it was at this point in their conversation when she lied to his face. He thought he had moved on from that, but it still hung around in the corner of his mind, ready to pop out at a moment like this and remind him of the negative aspects of their history together. "I wish I didn't," he said finally.

"You scared the hell out of me." There was a sadness in her eyes. It was a genuine truth that accompanied her statement.

He wanted to tell her to join the club; that maybe now she would finally get to see what it was like to be on the other side. He settled with, "I didn't mean to." He paused for a second and swallowed the lump in his throat. "What happened after I…"

"Ryan and Espo found us," Kate explained. "That was a week ago." Richard frowned, brow furrowing in concentration. He didn't recall a week passing him by. It felt like just 10 minutes ago, a sharp, blinding pain ripped through his torso. "The doctors took you off the ventilator last night, Castle," she added, seeing the confusion in his eyes. He looked so small now, so scared.

"Coma?"

Kate nodded her head with a small, "Mmhmm. You have no idea how lucky you are. It was a fluke he even managed to hit you." Richard waited patiently for her to continue. "Tyson fired a shot before he went over. It went through the rear windows and…" She moved her hand to the spot just under his ribs, covered and padded by bandages. "… and I almost lost you." A tear escaped her eye, and she bit down on her bottom lip. "I don't think I ever said I was sorry – for not telling you I remembered."

"Don't."

"Rick, I –"

"I said don't." She wanted to offer her some sort of reassurance, but he had none to give her. "You need to go. I can't do this with you anymore, Kate." He looked at her as shock started to register on her face.

She felt like she had been sucker punched. Kate had been telling him for years that it was too dangerous for him. He wasn't a cop. He didn't sign up for this – though he technically did when he signed the waiver. This didn't have to be his life. It was fine when she was the one trying to push him away, but when she was on the other side of the fence, she couldn't make heads or tails about how she felt. Did it matter? The end result would be the same. He would have a better chance of dying of old age in his bed than he did playing cop.

"Rick…"

"If you don't mind, I'm really tired now, _Beckett_."

Richard adjusted his head on the pillow, and Kate simply watched as his eyes closed. "I'll be here when you wake up," she said.

"Would you mind if you aren't?"

For a second she was going to argue, but she closed her mouth. She stared at his prone form in disbelief. She grabbed her jacket and walked out of the hospital room.


	3. Chapter 3

"What do you mean I can't see him?" Kate shouted at the nurse the next morning. She took a step back in the Hospital corridor and her eyes looked about wildly for a familiar face. Perhaps Martha or Alexis could help put the issue to rest and inform the nurse that _she_ was allowed to visit the man she… what? _Loved?_ She didn't know if she could actually call what they had 'love'. It was a four letter word that fell off tongues far too easily. As she looked at the nurse, she realized that it wasn't love she shared with Richard. It was more than that. It burned within her so intensely that as she was being denied access to the man she had never given up on, she wanted to simply explode.

_Love._ What a fickle term. There were no words for what he made her feel, and when he asked her to not come around and check up on him – she couldn't breathe. She couldn't understand _why_. Perhaps she shouldn't have brought up her own shooting and the heartbreaking events thereafter, but it had been on her mind, and she couldn't help it. He deserved the apology she had never given him. He deserved the thank you she had been too proud to offer at the time.

"Mister Castle has requested that his visitors be limited to his family only."

She took another step back. Four years working together and they weren't family? They didn't need to share blood in order to form that sort of bond, and she had _thought_ they had established that. "I'm his girlfriend," Kate informed the nurse.

"That very well may be, Miss Beckett, but you are not on his visitors list."

Kate rolled her eyes up to the ceiling when the nurse walked away. She placed her hands on her hips, frustrated and for a moment, seriously considered withdrawing her gun and demanding to see Castle. Only for a moment, though. She clenched her teeth together, resisting the urge to vocalize her anger at no one and everyone at the same time. "Oh, Castle," she sighed to herself and sat down on a chair. She couldn't go home, not when things were such a mess now.

"Hey Kiddo," Martha spoke up several minutes later as she approached with two cups in her hand. She handed one to Beckett and sat down in the seat next to her.

"How is he?" It was a simple, and safe question she felt, and she was itching to know. Richard had only woken up just yesterday, and not being able to see his beautiful eyes looking at her was tearing her apart inside.

"Oh, he's fine. The doctors are going to keep him for a few more days before sending him home. Apparently, he becomes our problem after that."

"Good," Kate murmured and sipped her coffee. She nodded her head to herself, her mind coming to terms with the fact that he had made it, and he was going to be perfectly okay.

"Don't take it personally, Kate."

"I don't know how to not take it personally. He just about kicked me out of his room, and now he won't let me back in. I thought… I _thought_ we were past all of this, but now – I don't even know what I did wrong. I can't fix it, if he won't even talk to me."

"Just give him time, dear. I'm sure he'll come around." Martha patted Kate's knee and rose to her feet. With a sympathetic glance back at her, she disappeared around a corner, down a corridor that would take her to Richard's room.

Oh, how she so wanted to get up and follow the woman. Instead, Kate leaned forward her in chair and rested her forearms on her knees. Head hung, she thought to herself, _So, this is what the other side of the coin looks like._

**_((A/N: Thanks for the reviews, guys! I really do appreciate it! This is just a short chapter for now, and more is on the way.))_**


End file.
